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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Random Quotes - 109
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Alexander Penney
The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but hold hands.
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George Arnold, The Jolly Old Pedagogue (1866)
The living need charity more than the dead.
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Les Brown
A dream can be nurtured over years and years and then flourish rapidly. . . . Be patient. It will happen for you. Sooner or later, life will get weary of beating on you and holding the door shut on you, and then it will let you in and throw you a real party
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George Washington
Labor to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire called conscience.
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Albert Einstein
In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.
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Heinrich Heine
I fell asleep reading a dull book and dreamed I kept on reading, so I awoke from sheer boredom.
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Henry David Thoreau
I once had a sparrow alight upon my shoulder for a moment, while I was hoeing in a village garden, and I felt that I was more distinguished by that circumstance that I should have been by any epaulet I could have worn.
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Aristotle, Rhetoric
Evil draws men together.
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Doug Hall
Fun is fundamental. There is no way around it. You absolutely must have fun. Without fun, there is no enthusiasm. Without enthusiasm, there is no energy. Without energy, there are only shades of gray.
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Jesse Louis Jackson
From seeds of his body blossomed the flower that liberated a people and touched the soul of a nation. (Funeral oration for Martin Luther King, Sr.)
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Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Dr. John H. Watson, referring to Sherlock Holmes, in "A Scandal in Bohemia"
The stage lost a fine actor, just as science lost an acute reasoner, when he became a specialist in crime.
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Aesop
In critical moments even the very powerful have need of the weakest.
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