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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humour Random Quotes - 94
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Jerry Gillies
Confront your fears, list them, get to know them, and only then will you be able to put them aside and move ahead.
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William Shakespeare, "The Two Gentlemen of Verona", Act 5 scene 4
How use doth breed a habit in a man!
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Robert Browning
Ignorance is not innocence but sin.
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James Abram Garfield
Next in importance to Freedom and Justice is popular education, without which neither Freedom nor Justice can be permanently maintained.
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Marilyn Ferguson
Ultimately we know deeply that the other side of every fear is a freedom.
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Robert Louis Stevenson
That man is a success who has lived well, laughed often and loved much.
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Unknown
Often sound advice turns out to be totally wrong. Sometimes things turn out in such a way that only a fool would predict. Which is why fools, too, have their place in analysis and debate.
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Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
You have delighted us long enough.
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Robert Francis Kennedy
If any man claims the Negro should be content ... let him say he would willingly change the color of his skin and go to live in the Negro section of a large city. Then and only then has he a right to such a claim.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If you want to sue somebody, just get a little plastic skeleton and lay it in their yard. Then tell them their ants ate your baby.
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Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Our repentance is not so much regret for the ill we have done as fear of the ill that may happen to us in consequence.
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Andrew A. Rooney
The only people who say worse things about politicians than reporters do are other politicians.
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