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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Silly Random Quotes - 142
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Berthold Auerbach
Of all afflictions, the worst is self-contempt.
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Japanese Proverb
When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends.
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Mark Twain
Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.
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Oprah Winfrey, O Magazine
I define joy as a sustained sense of well-being and internal peace - a connection to what matters.
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Mark Twain, "A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling"
For example, in Year 1 that useless letter c would be dropped to be replased either by k or s, and likewise x would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which c would be retained would be the ch formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform w spelling, so that which and one would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish y replasing it with i and Iear 4 might fiks the g j anomali wonse and for all.
Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez c, y and x -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais ch, sh, and th rispektivli.
Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud
hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.
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Allegra Kent, Once a Dancer…
All we actually have is our body and its muscles that allow us to be under our own power.
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Philip James Bailey
Art is a man's nature nature is God's art.
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Lawrence Sterne
To have respect for ourselves guides our morals; and to have a deference for others governs our manners.
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Robert Green Ingersoll
I would rather live and love where death is king than have eternal life where love is not.
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Lane Olinghouse
Those who flee temptation generally leave a forwarding address.
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Richard Hofstadter
A university's essential character is that of being a center of free inquiry and criticism-a thing not to be sacrificed for anything else.
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Stanislaw J. Lec, Unkempt Thoughts
I am against using death as a punishment. I am also against using it as a reward.
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