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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Random Quotes - 85
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David Williamson
There is no one quite as angry as someone who has just lost a lot of money.
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Johann von Goethe
Our friends show us what we can do our enemies teach us what we must do.
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W.C. Fields
I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
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Charles Caleb Colton
Doubt is the vestibule through which all must pass before they can enter into the temple of wisdom.
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Albert Einstein
As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.
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Jane Austen, Mansfield Park
If any one faculty of our nature may be called more wonderful than the rest, I do think it is memory. There seems something more speakingly incomprehensible in the powers, the failures, the inequalities of memory, than in any other of our intelligences. The memory is sometimes so retentive, so serviceable, so obedient; at others, so bewildered and so weak; and at others again, so tyrannic, so beyond control! We are, to be sure, a miracle every way; but our powers of recollecting and of forgetting do seem peculiarly past finding out.
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Anon.
Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times.
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Leone Levi
Man has six organs to serve him and he is master only of three. He cannot control his eye, ear or nose, but he can his mouth, hand and foot.
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Moliere
No one is safe from slander. The best way is to pay no attention to it, but live in innocence and let the world talk.
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Mark Twain
Man is the Only Animal that Blushes. Or needs to.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
When Rick told me he was having trouble with his wife, I had to laugh. Not because of what he said, but because of a joke I thought of. I told him the joke, but he didn't laugh very much. Some friend HE is.
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Anonymous
Better to get up late and be wide awake than to get up early and be asleep all day.
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