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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Random Quotes - 90
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James Madison, The Federalist, Paper # 10
No man is allowed to be a judge in his own cause, because his interest would certainly bias his judgment, and, not improbably, corrupt his integrity. With equal, nay with greater reason, a body of men are unfit to be both judges and parties at the same time.
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Miguel de Cervantes
Sing away sorrow, cast away care.
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Anais Nin
The only abnormality is the incapacity to love.
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Bertrand Russell
Mathematics, rightly viewed, posses not only truth, but supreme beauty - a beauty cold and austere, like that of sculpture.
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W. Somerset Maugham
The important thing was to love rather than to be loved.
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Charles Haddon Spurgeon
I do not come into this pulpit hoping that perhaps somebody will of his own free will return to Christ. My hope lies in another quarter. I hope that my Master will lay hold of some of them and say, You are mine, and you shall be mine. I claim you for myself. My hope arises from the freeness of grace, and not from the freedom of the will.
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Terminator 2 Judgment Day
The Terminator Come with me if you want to live.
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David Fasold
Intellectual brilliance is no guarentee against being dead wrong.
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Eric Hoffer
People unfit for freedom - who cannot do much with it - are hungry for power. The desire for freedom is an attribute of a have type of self. It says: leave me alone and I shall grow, learn, and realize my capacities. The desire for power is basically an attribute of a have not type of self.
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James Gordon Gilkey
Most of us think ourselves as standing wearily and helplessly at the center of a circle bristling with tasks, burdens, problems, annoyance, and responsibilities which are rushing in upon us. At every moment we have a dozen different things to do, a dozen problems to solve, a dozen strains to endure. We see ourselves as overdriven, overburdened, overtired. This is a common mental picture and it is totally false. No one of us, however crowded his life, has such an existence. What is the true picture of your life? Imagine that there is an hour glass on your desk. Connecting the bowl at the top with the bowl at the bottom is a tube so thin that only one grain of sand can pass through it at a time. That is the true picture of your life, even on a super busy day, The crowded hours come to you always one moment at a time. That is the only way they can come. The day may bring many tasks, many problems, strains, but invariably they come in single file. You want to gain emotional poise? Remember the hourglass, the grains of sand dropping one by one.
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Erica Jong
Love is everything it's cracked up to beIt really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for.
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Jack Kemp, Seattle, Washington, Winter 1996/97 lecture series, when asked if he would run for president in 2000
I am not sure I am willing to do what it takes to become President of the United States
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