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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Clever Random Quotes - 108
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Jose Ortega y Gasset
We distinguish the excellent man from the common man by saying that the former is the one who makes great demands upon himself, and the latter who makes no demands on himself.
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Will Rogers
See what will happen if you don't stop biting your fingernails
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Albanian Proverb
When you have given nothing, ask for nothing.
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Vince Lombardi
Build for your team a feeling of oneness, of dependence on one another and of strength to be derived by unity.
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Rainer Maria Rilke
This is the miracle that happens every time to those who really love the more they give, the more they possess.
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Andrew Schneider
Marriage is the union of disparate elements. Male and female. Yin and yang. Proton and electron. What are we talking about here Nothing less than the very tension that binds the universe. You see, when we look at marriage, people, we're are looking at creation itself. I am the sky, says the Hindu bridegroom to the bride. You are the earth. We are sky and earth united.... You are my husband. You are my wife. My feet shall run because of you. My feet shall dance because of you. My heart shall beat because of you. My eyes see because of you. My mind thinks because of you and I shall love because of you.
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Benjamin Franklin
Glass, china and reputation are easily cracked, and never well mended.
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Seneca
Most powerful is he who has himself in his own power.
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Leonardo DaVinci
Anyone who conducts an argument by appealing to authority is not using his intelligence he is just using his memory.
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Lucius Annaeus Seneca
A quarrel is quickly settled when deserted by one party there is no battle unless there be two.
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Sir William Bragg
God runs electromagnetics by wave theory on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and the Devil runs them by quantum theory on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday.
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Julian the Apostate
The idea of an incarnation of God is absurd: why should the human race think itself so superior to bees, ants, and elephants as to be put in this unique relation to its maker? . . Christians are like a council of frogs in a marsh or a synod of worms on a dung-hill croaking and squeaking for our sakes was the world created.
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