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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humour Random Quotes and Sayings - 84
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Jack Benny
My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.
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H Hahn Blavatsky
After '3
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Mark Twain
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
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Kahlil Gibran
Keep me away from the wisdom that does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.
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Boutros Boutros-Ghali
A new vision of development is emerging. Development is becoming a people-centered process, whose ultimate goal must be the improvement of the human condition.
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Aesop
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
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Mother Teresa
If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
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Wernher Von Braun
Crash programs fail because they are based on the theory that, with nine women pregnant, you can get a baby a month.
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Gloria Swanson
Never say never, for if you live long enough, chances are you will not be able to abide by its restrictions. Never is a long, undependable time, and life is too full of rich possibilities to have restrictions placed upon it.
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Sigmund Freud
Religion is an illusion, and it derives its strength from its readiness to fit in with our instinctual wishful impulses.
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Christopher Hampton
Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamp-post how it feels about dogs.
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Confucius
Heaven means to be one with God.
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