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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Random Quotes and Sayings - 9
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If I was the head of a country that lost a war, and I had to sign a peace treaty, just as I was signing I'd glance over the treaty and then suddenly act surprised. 'Wait a minute I thought WE won'
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Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire
No problem can stand the assault of sustained thinking.
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Emmet Fox
Life is consciousness.
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Edward Lawrence Gibson
I was never less alone than while by myself.
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Churton Collins
In prosperity our friends know us in adversity we know our friends.
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Miguel de Cervantes
Thou art a cat, and a rat, and a coward.
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Swedish Proverb
Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water.
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Ronald Reagan, Said during a radio microphone test, 1984
My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes.
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George Bernard Shaw
When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.
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Epicurus
The greater the difficulty, the more the glory in surmounting it.
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Howard Crosby
A wisely chosen illustration is almost essential to fasten the truth upon the ordinary mind, and no teacher can afford to neglect this part of his preparation.
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African Proverb
Indecision is like a stepchild if he does not wash his hands, he is called dirty, if he does, he is wasting water.
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