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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Random Quotes and Sayings - 60
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Garth Henrichs
The person who is waiting for something to turn up might start with their shirt sleeves.
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Joe Moore
It's practically impossible to look at a penguin and feel angry.
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Aeschylus, Prometheus Bound
Time as he grows old teaches all things.
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Bertolt Brecht, The Threepenny Opera (1928), Act I Scene 3
For the villainy of the world is great, and a man has to run his legs off to keep them from being stolen out fom underneath him.
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Maya Angelou
I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.
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Jimmy Durante
I hate music, especially when it's played.
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Francis J. Braceland, O Magazine, April 2003
We can be sure that the greatest hope for maintaining equilibrium in the face of any situation rests within ourselves.
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Horace
There is a measure in everything. There are fixed limits beyond which and short of which right cannot find a resting place.
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Carmen Sylva
Friendship based solely upon gratitude is like a photograph with time it fades.
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Buddha
Therefore, be ye lamps unto yourselves, be a refuge to yourselves. Hold fast to Truth as a lamp; hold fast to the truth as a refuge. Look not for a refuge in anyone beside yourselves. And those, who shall be a lamp unto themselves, shall betake themselves to no external refuge, but holding fast to the Truth as their lamp, and holding fast to the Truth as their refuge, they shall reach the topmost height.
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J. Edgar Hoover
Justice is incidental to law and order.
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William Dugger
The corporation has evolved to serve the interests of whoever controls it, at the expense of whoever does not.
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