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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Very Funny Random Short Quotes - 200

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate only love can do that.


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P. T. Forsyth

You must live with people to know their problems, and live with God in order to solve them.


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Aristotle

Those who have the command of the arms in a country are masters of the state, and have it in their power to make what revolutions they please. Thus, there is no end to observations on the difference between the measures likely to be pursued by a minister backed by a standing army, and those of a court awed by the fear of an armed people.


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Author Unknown

None of us are responsible for all the things that happen to us, but we are responsible for the way we act when they do happen.


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Mark Twain

Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.


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Ralph Kiner

Hello, everybody. Welcome to Kiner's Corner. This is....uh. I'm...uhRalph Kiner


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Alan Simpson

An educated man ... is thoroughly inoculated against humbug, thinks for himself and tries to give his thoughts, in speech or on paper, some style.


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Albert Camus

Without freedom, no art art lives only on the restraints it imposes on itself, and dies of all others.


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Stephen R. Covey, First things First

If there is no gardener there is no garden.


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Albert Einstein

Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.


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Anne Rice

Evil is always possible. Goodness is a difficulty.


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French Proverb

What was hard to endure is sweet to recall.



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