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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Random Short Quotes - 199
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Will Cuppy
Some people lose all respect for the lion unless he devours them instantly. There is no pleasing some people.
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H. A. Overstreet
To hate and to fear is to be psychologically ill ... it is, in fact, the consuming illness of our time.
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Saint Augustine
Though there are very many nations all over the earth, ...there are no more than two kinds of human society, which we may justly call two cities, ...one consisting of those who live according to man, the other of those who live according to God ....To the City of Man belong the enemies of God, ...so inflamed with hatred against the City of God.
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Napoleon I
Ability is nothing without opportunity.
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Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Thinking is easy, acting is difficult, and to put one's thoughts into action is the most difficult thing in the world.
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Stella Terrill Mann
Every time we say, Let there be! in any form, something happens.
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Hamilton Mabie
Don't be afraid of opposition. Remember, a kite rises against not with the wind.
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Alexander Pope
Like bubbles on the sea of matter borne, They rise, they break, and to that sea return.
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Ronald Reagan
Freedom is one of the deepest and noblest aspirations of the human spirit.
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W. Somerset Maugham
Men seek but one thing in life - their pleasure.
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Andrew Schneider
Life's dirty. Life's unclean you know. It's birth, it's sex, it's the intestinal tract. One big squishy, unsanitary mess. It never gets any cleaner either. You know, dust to dust, worms crawl in, worms crawl out, right Even though we know that, we still walk the walk, we still live the life. We're like a bunch of little kids. Little kids, you know, we jump in this big old pond of mud and we're slapping it all over our face, rubbing our hair all down our backs and we're making these glorious, gooey, mud pies. That's us.
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Nelson Mandela
There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.
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