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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Random Short Quotes - 170
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Edward M. Berckman
We are meant to be addicted to God, but we develop secondary addictions that temporarily appear to fix our problem.
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Andrew Schneider
Real meaningful endeavours, the biggies in human existence, often require the sacrifice of others.
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Clifton Fadiman
One's first book, kiss, home run, is always the best.
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Buddha
Let a man avoid evil deeds as a man who loves life avoids poison.
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Mario Andretti
If everything's under control, you're going too slow.
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Unknown
He is not deemed to give consent who is under a mistake.
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Helen Luke
Unless a man or woman has experienced the darkness of the soul he or she can know nothing of that transforming laughter without which no hint of the ultimate reality of the opposites can be faintly intuited.
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Edward Bulwer-Lytton
Know thyself, said the old philosopher, improve thyself, saith the new. Our great object in time is not to waste our passions and gifts on the things external that we must leave behind, but that we cultivate within us all that we can carry into the eternal progress beyond.
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American Indian Proverb
Do not wrong or hate your neighbor for it is not he that you wrong but yourself.
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Ralph Charell
Avoid the crowd. Do your own thinking independently. Be the chess player, not the chess piece.
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Bertrand Russell, Sceptical Essays (1928), "Eastern and Western Ideals of Happiness"
We have, in fact, two kinds of morality side by side: one which we preach but do not practice, and another which we practice but seldom preach.
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Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.
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