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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Clever Random Short Quotes - 198
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Homer, The Iliad
The glorious gifts of the gods are not to be cast aside.
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Unknown
Though it's important that people know you, It is more important if they think you are worth knowing.
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from an official Japanese guide for English-speaking drivers, 1936
At the rise of the hand of the policeman, stop rapidly. Do not pass him or otherwise disrespect him. 2. If pedestrian obstacle your path, tootle horn melodiously. If he continue to obstacle, tootle horn vigorously and utter vocal warning such as Hi, Hi. ... 5. Beware of greasy corner where lurk skid demon. Cease step on, approach slowly, round cautiously, resume step on gradually.
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Unknown
Fashion is something that goes in one year and out the other.
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John Viscount Morley
It is not enough to do good one must do it the right way.
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Albert Einstein
To know that what is impenetrable to us really exists, manifesting itself as the highest wisdom and the most radiant beauty, which our dull facilities can comprehend only in the most primitive forms--this knowledge, this feeling, is at the center of true religiousness. In this sense, and in this sense only, I belong to the ranks of the devoutly religious men.
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Naked Gun From the Files of Police Squad
Frank Wilma, I promise you whatever scum did this, not one man on this force will rest one minute before until he's behind bars. Now, let's grab a bite to eat.
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Lillian Hellman, An Unfinished Woman, 1969
Nothing, of course, begins at the time you think it did.
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Mark Twain
Some people get an eduction without going to college the rest get it after they get out.
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Andr Gide
It is easier to lead men to combat, stirring up their passion, than to restrain them and direct them toward the patient labors of peace.
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Dante Alighieri, Purgatorio, XVII , 59-60
For he who sees a need but waits to be asked is already set on cruel refusal.
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Robin Green, Northern Exposure, Burning Down the House, 1992
I started concentrating so hard on my vision that I lost sight.
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