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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Random Short Quotes - 175
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Woody Allen
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead- not sick, not wounded - dead.
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John Newton
How sweet the name of Jesus sounds In a believer's ear It soothes his sorrow, heals his wounds, And drives away his fears.
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Sidney Goff
A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
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Prophet Mohammed, ibn abbas
He is not of us who is not affectionate to the little ones, and does not respect the old; and he is not of us, who does not order which is lawful, and prohibits that which is unlawful.
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John Calhoun
Irresponsible power is inconsistent with liberty, and must corrupt those who exercise it.
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Kierkegaard
Life can only be understood backwards but it must be lived forwards.
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Daniel Day Lewis
You don't merely give over your creativity to making a film-you give over your life In theatre, by contrast, you live these two rather strange lives simultaneously you have no option but to confront the mould on last night's washing-up.
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John Dewey
Every great advance in science has issued from a new audacity of imagination.
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W. Edwards Deming
Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival.
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Maharishi Mahesh Yogi
The purpose of life is the expansion of happiness.
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Elizabeth Stone
Making the decision to have a child--it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.
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Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet
Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
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