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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humour Random Quotes and Sayings - 24
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Helen Rowland
To a woman the first kiss is just the end of the beginning but to a man it is the beginning of the end.
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Socrates
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
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George Gordon Byron
For what were all these country patriots born To hunt, and vote, and raise the price of corn
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Henry Commager
If our democracy is to flourish, it must have criticism if our government is to function it must have dissent.
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Oliver Wendell Holmes
Civilization is the process of reducing the infinite to the finite.
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Annie Dillard
How we spend our days is of course how we spend our lives.
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Samuel Johnson, Taxation No Tyranny
There will always be a part, and always a very large part of every community, that have no care but for themselves, and whose care for themselves reaches little further than impatience of immediate pain, and eagerness for the nearest good.
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Richard M. Nixon
In a free society no one can win all the time. No one can have his way all the time and no one is right all the time.
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Theodore Roosevelt
The one absolutely certain way of bringing this nation to ruin, of preventing all possibility of continuing to be a nation at all would be to permit it to become a tangle of squabbling nationalities.
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Abraham Maslow
If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.
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Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Why is it that our memory is good enough to retain the least triviality that happens to us, and yet not good enough to recollect how often we have told it to the same person
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