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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Amusing Random Short Quotes - 157
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Frank Tyger
Be a good listener. Your ears will never get you in trouble.
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Mae West
He who hesitates is a damned fool.
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Andy & Larry Wachowski, Merovingian - The Matrix Revolutions
It is remarkable how similar the pattern of love is to the pattern of insanity.
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Winston Churchill, Quoted in: Irving Klotz, Bending perception, a book review, Nature, 1996, Volume 379, p 412
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but usually manages to pick himself up, walk over or around it, and carry on.
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Elijah Wood
I am not a star. A star is nothing more than a ball of gas.
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Tony Blair
I just want to say this. I want to say it gently but I want to say it firmly: There is a tendency for the world to say to America, the big problems of the world are yours, you go and sort them out, and then to worry when America wants to sort them out.
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Alice Walker
In order to be able to live in America I must be unafraid to live anywhere in it, and I must be able to live in the fashion and with whom I choose.
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Robert Albert Bloch
Nature gave men two ends -- one to sit on, and one to think with. Ever since then man's success or failure has been dependent on the one he used most.
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Pearl Bailey
There are two kinds of talents, man-made talent and God-given talent. With man-made talent you have to work very hard. With God-given talent, you just touch it up once in a while.
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Shirley Temple
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
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Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
The true, prescriptive artist strives after artistic truth; the lawless artist, following blind instinct, after an appearance of naturalness. The one leads to the highest peaks of art, the other to its lowest depths.
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Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Old age, believe me, is a good and pleasant thing. It is true you are gently shouldered off the stage, but then you are given such a comfortable front stall as spectator.
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