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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Random Quotes and Sayings - 39
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Andrew Schneider
There can be no spirituality, no sanctity, no truth without the female sex.
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Jules Renard
Be modest! It is the kind of pride least likely to offend.
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Jerry Coleman
The new Haitian baseball can't weigh more than four ounces or less than five.
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George Gordon Byron
Cervantes smiled Spain's chivalry away A single laugh demolished the right arm Of his country.
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Lord Byron
And dreams in their development have breath, And tears, and tortures, and the touch of joy; They leave a weight upon our waking thoughts, They take a weight from off our waking toils, They do divide our being.
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Senator Everett Dirksen
A billion here, a billion there, pretty soon it adds up to real money.
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John Churton Collins
To ask for advice is in nine cases out of ten to ask for flattery.
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H.L. Mencken
All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.
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Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray, 1891
Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them.
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Albert Einstein
Ethical axioms are found and tested not very differently from the axioms of science. Truth is what stands the test of experience.
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Voltaire
Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
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Laertius Diogenes
He used to say that it was better to have one friend of great value than many friends who were good for nothing.
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