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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Random Short Quotes - 169
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Thomas Elliot
It is by no means self-evident that human beings are most real when most violently excited; violent physical passions do not in themselves differentiate men from each other, but rather tend to reduce them to the same state.
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Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions.
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John Lubbock
A wise system of education will at last teach us how little man yet knows, how much he has still to learn.
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Marie Curie
Be less curious about people and more curious about ideas.
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Casey Stengel
There comes a time in every man's life and I've had many of them.
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William Ellery Channing
The home is the chief school of human virtues.
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John Tillotson
Ignorance and inconsideration are the two great causes of the ruin of mankind.
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Lori Hard
Do not fear to step into the unknown For where there is risk, there is also reward.
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Andy Warhol, The Philosophy of Andy Warhol
They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.
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John Keats
I am certain of nothing but the holiness of the heart's affection and the truth of imagination.
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Gene Spafford, 1992
Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind- boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it.
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George Carlin
As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
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