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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Random Short Quotes - 165
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Lloyd Dobens and Clare Crawford-Mason, Thinking About Quality
Nothing in life is static; it either gets better, or it gets worse.
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J. Lawton Collins
No matter how brilliant a man may be, he will never engender confidence in his subordinates and associates if he lacks simple honesty and moral courage.
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Julian Jaynes, "The Origin of Consciousness"
Civilization is the art of living in towns of such size the everyone does not know everyone else.
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Jim Whitaker
You never conquer a mountain. Mountains can't be conquered you conquer yourself--your hopes, your fears.
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Katharine Graham
No one can avoid aging, but aging productively is something else.
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Frank Gelett Burgess
If in the last few years you haven't discarded a major opinion or acquired a new one, check your pulse, you may be dead.
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Publilius Syrus
It is better to learn late than never.
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John Updike
It seems to me the book has not just aesthetic values-- the charming little clothy box of the thing, the smell of the glue, even the print, which has its own beauty. But there's something about the sensation of ink on paper that is in some sense a thing, a phenomenon rather than an epiphenomenon. I can't break the association of electric trash with the computer screen. Words on the screen give the sense of being just another passing electronic wriggle.
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Gail Sheehy
Changes are not only possible and predictable, but to deny them is to be an accomplice to one's own unnecessary vegetation.
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Richard Milhous Nixon
My telephone calls and meetings and decisions were now parts of a prescribed ritual aimed at making peace with the past his calls, his meetings and his decisions were already the ones that would shape America's future. (On transfer of power to Gerald R Ford)
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Oliver Wendell Holmes
One's mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.
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Jed Babbin, former Deputy Undersecretary of Defense
Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. You just leave a lot of useless, noisy baggage behind.
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