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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Crazy Random Quotes and Sayings - 63
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Edgar Bergen
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance
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William Feather
The petty economies of the rich are just as amazing as the silly extravagances of the poor.
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Jerry Seinfeld
Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.
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Thomas Jefferson, letter to Count Diodati, 1807
I have the consolation of having added nothing to my private fortune during my public service, and of retiring with hands clean as they are empty.
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Iggy Pop
They say that death kills you, But death doesn't kill you. Boredom and indifference kill you.
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Barbara Bush
Bias has to be taught. If you hear your parents downgrading women or people of different backgrounds, why, you are going to do that.
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T. S. Eliot
It is impossible to design a system so perfect that no one needs to be good.
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Thomas Carlyle
Enjoy things which are pleasant that is not the evil it is the reducing of our moral self to slavery by them that is.
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Anthony Robbins
The path to success is to take massive, determined action.
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Author Unknown
A good marriage winds up as a meeting of minds, which had better be pretty good to start with.
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J. S. Bryan
Many men can make a fortune by very few can build a family.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
I wish I lived back in the Old West days, because I'd save up my money for about twenty years so I could buy a solid-gold pick. Then I'd go out west and start digging for gold. When someone came up and asked what I was doing, I'd say, 'Looking for gold, ya durn fool.' He'd say, 'Your pick is gold.' And I'd say, 'well, that was easy.' Good joke, huh
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