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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Random Quotes and Sayings - 50
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Thom Barber
Life is too long not to be happy.
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Aristotle
Nature does nothing uselessly.
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Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield
Wear your learning, like your watch, in a private pocket and do not pull it out and strike it, merely to show that you have one.
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Sir Winston Churchill
Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb.
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Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Begin at once to live, and count each separate day as a separate life.
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Bertrand Russell
The fundamental defect of fathers is that they want their children to be a credit to them.
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Maurice Chevalier
Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternatives.
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Gloria Anzaldua
The possibilities are numerous once we decide to act and not react.
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Ogden Nash
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
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Sallust
Before you act consider when you have considered, tis fully time to act.
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Orson Scott Card, Treasure Box
Everybody dies. What matters is what you do between now and when it happens to you.
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Douglas Noel Adams
Funny how just when you think life can't possibly get any worse it suddenly does.
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