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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Random Short Quotes - 161
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Alexander Pope
A family is but too often a commonwealth of malignants.
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Quentin Crisp
If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.
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Robert Louis Stevenson
A friend is a gift you give yourself.
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Napoleon Bonaparte
A leader has the right to be beaten, but never the right to be surprised.
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Kenneth Branaugh
Adults are just children who earn money.
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Sir Winston Churchill, speech in the House of Commons, November 29, 1944
A love of tradition has never weakened a nation, indeed it has strengthened nations in their hour of peril; but the new view must come, the world must roll forward.
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Benjamin Franklin
Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
All conservatives are such from personal defects. They have been effeminated by position or nature, born halt and blind, through luxury of their parents, and can only, like invalids, act on the defensive.
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Louis Booker Wright
All the fundamental concepts which make up the kind of people we are today had their modern conception in the Tudor and Stuart periods. For us, that's the milk in the coconut.
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Sigmund Freud
Everywhere I go I find a poet has been there before me.
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Samuel Johnson
To get a name can happen but to few; it is one of the few things that cannot be brought. It is the free gift of mankind, which must be deserved before it will be granted, and is at last unwillingly bestowed.
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Chuck Palahniuk
People don’t want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. Their distractions. Their stories resolved. Their messes cleaned up. Because what would they have left? Just the big scary unknown.
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