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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Clever Random Short Quotes - 188
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Stanislaw Lem
Cannibals prefer those who have no spines.
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Dr. Thomas Fuller, Gnomologia, 1732
He that plants trees loves others beside himself.
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Eugene McCarthy, Time magazine, Feb. 12, 1979
The only thing that saves us from the bureaucracy is inefficiency. An efficient bureaucracy is the greatest threat to liberty.
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Gertrude Stein
Counting is the religion of this generation it is its hope and its salvation.
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Charles Caleb Colton, Lacon, volume I, no. 183
Imitation is the sincerest of flattery.
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Conrad Hilton
Success seems to be connected with action. Successful men keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don't quit.
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Heraclitus, On the Universe
Much learning does not teach understanding.
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Russell P. Askue
If living conditions don't stop improving in this country, we're going to run out of humble beginnings for our great men.
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Leon Tec, M.D.
A sailor without a destination cannot hope for a favorable wind.
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Norman Cousins
Laughter is inner jogging.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.
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Mark Twain
The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.
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