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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Random Short Quotes - 191
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Mary J. Wilson
I'm never going to be a movie star. But then, in all probability, Liz Taylor is never going to teach first and second grade.
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G. K. Chesterton
I believe in getting into hot water it keeps you clean.
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Donald G. Smith
If someone cheats you, get your money back. If someone slanders you, call him to account. If someone makes a promise, see that it is kept If you have to be a pest, then be one, and be proud of it.
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Thorstein Veblen
Conspicuous consumption of valuable goods is a means of reputability to the gentleman of leisure.
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Albert Einstein
If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.
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Herman Melville
Of all the preposterous assumptions of humanity over humanity, nothing exceeds most of the criticisms made on the habits of the poor by the well-housed, well- warmed, and well-fed.
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George Gordon Byron
For the Angel of Death spread his wings on the blast,And breathed in the face of the foe as he pass'dAnd the eyes of the sleepers wax'd deadly and chill,And their hearts but once heaved, and for ever grew still
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Peter Gray
One must love a cat on its own terms.
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William Ellery Channing
Every mind was made for growth, for knowledge, and its nature is sinned against when it is doomed to ignorance.
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George Bernard Shaw
Let a short Act of Parliament be passed, placing all street musicians outside the protection of the law, so that any citizen may assail them with stones, sticks, knives, pistols, or bombs without incurring any penalties.
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Anatole France
If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.
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B. J. Gupta
Exploit or get exploited.
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