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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Humorous Random Quotes and Sayings - 45

Benjamin Franklin

After three days men grow weary of a wench, a guest, and rainy weather.


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Adam Marshall

You only live once; but if you live it right, once is enough.


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Albert Einstein

Generations to come will find it difficult to believe that a man such as Gandhi ever walked the face of this earth.


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George Santayana

Music is essentially useless, as life is but both have an ideal extension which lends utility to its conditions.


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Andrea Oldham

Smile alot Not only will you turn heads, you'll turn hearts


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Eleanor Roosevelt

Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.


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Real Live Preacher, RealLivePreacher.com Weblog, August 27, 2003

There isn’t much better in this life than finding a way to spend a few hours in conversation with people you respect and love. You have to carve this time out of your life because you aren’t really living without it.


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William Carleton

Strong feelings do not necessarily make a strong character. The strength of a man is to be measured by the power of the feelings he subdues not by the power of those which subdue him.


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Chinese Proverb

If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.


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Lois McMaster Bujold

Never... ever suggest they don't have to pay you. What they pay for, they'll value. What they get for free, they'll take for granted, and then demand as a right. Hold them up for all the market will bear.


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Tyron Edwards

Anxiety is the rust of life, destroying its brightness and weakening its power. A childlike and abiding trust in Providence is its best preventive and remedy.


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Mark Twain

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not.



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