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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Sarcastic Random Quotes and Sayings - 76

Anthony Robbins

Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach.


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Benjamin Disraeli

The secret of success is constancy of purpose.


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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

Sometimes I wonder if I'm patriotic enough. Yes, I want to kill people, but on both sides.


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Kilgore Trout, Timequake, Kurt Vonnegut. Page 19.

Men are jerks. Women are psychotic.


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Vince Lombardi

Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off the goal.


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Anouk Aimee

Cosmic upheaval is not so moving as a little child pondering the death of a sparrow in the corner of a barn.


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Charles Simic

Poetry is an orphan of silence. The words never quite equal the experience behind them.


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Miguel de Cervantes

It is very difficult to be wholly joyous or wholly sad on this earth. The comic, when it is human, soon takes upon itself a face of pain and some of our griefs . . . have their source in weaknesses which must be recognized with smiling compassion as the common inheritance of us all.


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Ronnie Shakes

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August.


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Ralph Waldo Emerson

Let not a man guard his dignity, but let his dignity guard him.


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Charles Dickens, Great Expectations

Pause you who read this, and think for a moment of the long chain of iron or gold, of thorns or flowers, that would never have bound you, but for the formation of the first link on one memorable day.


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Frank Thomas, Disney Animator, When asked to give advice to young animators

Observe Everything. Communicate Well.
Draw, Draw, Draw.



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