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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Random Short Quotes - 189
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Senator William Grayson
Last Monday a string of amendments were presented to the lower House these altogether respect personal liberty...
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Jawaharlal Nehru
The policy of being too cautious is the greatest risk of all.
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Ronald Reagan
Damn it, Pierre, what do you want me to do We'll go sit with empty chairs to get those guys back to the table. (To Pierre Trudeau, prime minister of Canada)
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Frank Zappa
Fact of the matter is, there is no hip world, there is no straight world. There's a world, you see, which has people in it who believe in a variety of different things. Everybody believes in something and everybody, by virtue of the fact that they believe in something, use that something to support their own existence.
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Jacques Maritain
We are not the same persons this year as last nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person.
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George Saunders
Good-bye. I am leaving because I am bored.
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Al Franken, "Oh, the Things I Know", 2002
When you encounter seemingly good advice that contradicts other seemingly good advice, ignore them both.
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Lloyd Dobens and Clare Crawford-Mason, Thinking About Quality
It is not a question of how well each process works, the question is how well they all work together.
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Robert C. Byrd
One's family is the most important thing in life. I look at it this way One of these days I'll be over in a hospital somewhere with four walls around me. And the only people who'll be with me will be my family.
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Bertrand Russell
The good life, as I conceive it, is a happy life. I do not mean that if you are good you will be happy - I mean that if you are happy you will be good.
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Robert Green Ingersoll
Happiness is not a reward-it is a consequence. Suffering is not a punishment-it is a result.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
When you strike at a king, you must kill him.
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